


Marry Me

by Clankit



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Angst?, Bottom Dan, Drunk Kissing, Drunk Phil, Drunk love confessions, Eventual Smut, Help, I Blame Tumblr, I was never gonna have any ocs sorry, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm horrible at planning in advance, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First Smut, My First Work in This Fandom, Original Character(s), Smut, Some Plot, Sorry to people with the name Tasha or Chritsy, Top Phil, angstish?, im only okay with shipping real life when people have given their express consent, while drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:56:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4519221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clankit/pseuds/Clankit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan didn’t even realize it at first when Phil popped the question.</p><p>“Hey Dan, will you marry me?”</p><p>“Phil, are you drunk?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dan didn’t even realize it at first when Phil popped the question.

“Hey Dan, will you marry me?”

“Phil, are you drunk?”

“Punch drunk love.” Phil murmured before collapsing onto the floor.

Phil had just gone out for a bit for god knows why a couple hours earlier, but Dan trusted him. Usually, he would ask Phil if he wanted him to come, but he was too wrapped up in his anime that he barely even noticed Phil saying he was leaving. He did when a character died and he tried to find Phil to complain about it, though.

But now, hours after Phil left, he was coming back at- what, 6:48?- seemingly drunk out of his mind, asking Dan to marry him before promptly falling over.

Dan stood up from the couch to go and check on his best friend- and, despite Dan’s unwavering crush, not his boyfriend. So, you couldn’t blame Dan for being a little excited, and also a bit confused.

“Phil, all you alright?’’

“I will be if you marry me.” Phil murmured into the carpet.

Dan stared at the man before him before bending down to drape one of his arms around his shoulder. “Come on. You’re drunk.” He then shuffled Phil over to the couch, as he didn’t want to drag him all the way to his bedroom. Which admittedly wasn’t that far, but Dan was lazy.

Dan sighed as he laid Phil down on the couch. “Have you eaten anything?” Phil only waved his hands around before frowning and grabbing Dan’s leg.

“Dan, promise me we won't ever get a hamster.”

“What?” Dan certainly did not expect their conversation to suddenly turn to the topic of household pets.

“Promise me!”

“Okay… Sure.”

Phil sighed in relief and lessened his grip on Dan's leg. Dan used this freedom to walk over to their kitchen and tried to find something Phil could eat. Phil was obviously really drunk, as he would have to be to ask Dan to marry him… Dan did a quick google search on ‘what to feed drunk people’ while all the while glancing at Phil who had leaned up to peer over the couch at Dan with the biggest smile on his face.

Most of the answers seemed to suggest water and anything with bread. Luckily, they had just gotten some for a video in which Dan needed to make a sandwich, so he had that covered. Dan glanced yet again at Phil, who was now now leaning over the side of the couch and grinning broadly at Dan. This made Dan so uncomfortable that he turned away to make the sandwich, which turned out the be the wrong thing to do, since right after Dan had finished making the sandwich and was pouring the glass of water he heard a voice right behind him say, “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

Dan nearly dropped the glass into the sink, but managed to set it down and turn off the faucet in record time to say, “You scared the shit out of me!” Phil chuckled and stepped closer to Dan, who had the feeling he was being trapped.

“Well, have I? I mean, I even wrote a poem to say it;

_I love you more than there is every star in the sky_

_I love you more than the earth loves the sun_

_I love you more than a dog loves a squeaky toy_ (Phil paused to giggle)

_I love you more than the earth itself_

_But most of all, I love you more than I love myself_

Phil grinned, like he had just been told a good joke instead of telling a love poem he had written. Dan, of course, was stunned beyond belief. Phil leaned forward, as if he was going to kiss him, and Dan felt his heart pound ever harder in his chest, but of course, Phil pulled away at the last moment to trudge off to his room.

Well, the talk they were going to have tomorrow morning would certainly be interesting.

When Dan finally recovered from his shock of what had just happened, he noticed that the sandwich and glass of water for Phil were still sitting on the counter, Which meant he would have to take them to Phil. Who was in his room. Who was also drunk.

Dan couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach as he tapped Phil’s door with one foot, his hands currently occupied with holding a plate with a sandwich on it and a glass of water. Dan didn’t  actually expect an answer, so he was surprised when Phil opened the door. Dan expected Phil to take the stuff from his hands, but instead he simply fell onto his bed, which he probably been resting on before Dan knocked. Dan grumbled and set the things on Phil’s bed stand. He groaned when he realized he should’ve brought some advil for Phil. As he turned to go get some from the bathroom, he felt Phil grab his his arm. He turned to glare at the man, who instead pulled him in for a kiss.

Since Phil was drunk, it was not, of course, a professional kiss. It was sloppy, wet, and only lasted three seconds before Phil released Dan’s arm and passed out snoring. But it was still a kiss. Dan stared at the sleeping man in shock. In one night, Phil had talked about how much he loved him, kissed him, and asked him to marry him.

Oh yes, the talk they were going to have tomorrow was certainly going to be interesting.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any mistakes are my own, if you seen any please let me know! The little poem thingy belongs to me, in case anyone's curious.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Phil was snoring away, Dan had to wonder what Phil had been doing…

As Phil was snoring away, Dan had to wonder what Phil had been doing…

**_Several Hours Previously_ **

Phil needed a drink. Although he wasn’t one to drink too often, after jerking off to a fanfiction of you and your best friend going at it it seemed appropriate.

Hey, it wasn’t Phil’s fault, the fanfiction had just been really good.

Admittedly, Phil often read fanfiction about him and his best friend, since it was the closest he could get to the real thing. Fluff was his favorite, as he could imagine him and Dan doing these cutesy things they did in the fanfiction in real life. Smut was his second favorite, as it provided good masturbation material. Sadly, he didn’t think he could imagine them doing the second one together in real life.

So, Phil needed a drink. Where? Well, the small bar a couple blocks from their apartment seemed like a good idea.

Phil pushed open the door, and the few people in there glanced up at him. Seeing it was pretty early evening to be going to a bar, there was only six other people in there, two girls at the counter and three guys at a table. And the bartender, of course. Phil sat at the counter warily. He had drunk alcohol plenty of times, yes, but this was his- third? fourth? yes, that was it- fourth time in a bar. “Um, a gin and tonic please.” The bartender, a young woman with blonde hair, nodded and Phil heard the girls beside him giggle. Phil tensed. That probably meant trouble.

“Hey there.” One of the girls said with a smirk as she took a seat next to Phil. “I’m Tasha.”

“And I’m Christy.” Said a voice to Phil’s right, and suddenly Phil found himself trapped between girls who were very, very, interested in him.

“Hi.” Phil wanted to believe that these girls would back off if he asked, but somehow he didn’t think so.

“What’s your name, cuite?’’ Tasha asked, and Phil suddenly found her hand dangerously close to his thigh.

“Phil,” he said leaning as far backwards as he could, forgetting there was a girl on that side also, so he squeaked and swiveled his head around fast when he felt a hand touch his shoulder.

“So, do you wanna buy us drinks?” Christy asked, and Phil was sure he saw her thrust her chest out.

“I’m sorry, I’m really not interested-” Phil had to swivel his head again as he felt a hand on his other shoulder.

“We promise we’ll make it worth your time...:” Tasha said, and Phil felt her start to massage his left shoulder.

This was not going well.

There was a clunk, and Phil started to find the bartender had set down his drink if front of him. “Ladies, if you continue, I’m going to have to ask you two leave.”

Tasha and Christy threw the bartender looks of disgust before stalking over to the table with the three guys, who seemed much more happy to have their attention than Phil had been.

“I’m sorry about them, but it’s a small bar, so I need any business I can get.” She shrugged, before getting a stool from behind the bar and sitting down in front of Phil. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before.”

“Oh no, this is my fourth time in a bar actually.” Phil took a sip from his gin and tonic, slightly embarrassed now that he had revealed that. “Thanks for saving me from those girls though.”

She nodded, staring at Phil with a somewhat intense gaze. “Now I’m going to make a second guess here. You don’t drink that often?”

Phil finished his gin and tonic, and feeling a bit more relaxed, smiled at her. “Oh no, not at all. It’s just that…” Phil frowned, and tapped his empty glass. “Another please?’’ He knew that he should be watching his drinking, as he was kind of a lightweight, but right now he didn’t care. The bartender raised an eyebrow, but refilled his glass anyways. Phil downed the thing in a couple of gulps, and, feeling much more relaxed, smiled again. ‘‘You see, I’ve got this flatmate, right? He’s my best friend; I couldn’t live without him. But… I’m also in love with him.”

If the bartender was surprised at the use of a male pronoun, she didn’t show it. Instead, she simply nodded. “What’s this guy like?’’

Phil laughed, and started to describe Dan. “He’s… shy. He’d hate to be in a place like this. He’s sarcastic, sometimes rude, but pretty funny. He’s actually a pretty nice guy, even though he doesn’t always realize it. I love him, and I know he loves me, but…” Phil chuckled, definitely at least tipsy. “We could never be together in that way. He only sees me as a friend, although our fans ship us.’’

At the words ‘fans’ and ‘ship us’ she raised her eyebrows, before she snapped and pointed at him. “You’re that AmazingPhil guy, right? My friend is obsessed with you. So that means your friend is… Danisnotonfire, right?”

“Yep!” Phil said, popping the p. Phil's tongue had loosened as he drank, so he let loose a little bit more. “People write stuff about us. Being together, I mean. I just finished reading a really good one actually, so that’s why I’m here.” By now, time had passed and several more people had entered the bar, but Phil didn’t care now. “Now, let me tell you about how we met…”

**_Several More Drinks And A Couple Hours Later_ **

Phil staggered his way back to the apartment, contemplating the conversation he had had bartender (whose name he had found out was Jenny). She had given him several tips on ways to subtly hint that he might want to be more than friends with Dan. But Phil was worried that Dan, who was more like a social panda than a social butterfly, wouldn’t pick up on the ques. He needed something more direct… “I’ll ask him to marry me,” he declared to no one. “That’ll work for sure.” As Phil climbed up the stairs to their room, he realized he should be more romantic. Maybe compose a love poem or something. He fumbled his key in the lock before finally managing to unlock the door and walked proudly into the room.

“Hey Dan, will you marry me?”

**_A Couple Hours Later From Where We Last Saw Dan And Phil_ **

Phil woke with a pounding headache and overwhelming hunger. He groaned and and struggled to turn on his bedside lamp, shutting his eyes at the blind light. When he felt he could, he blinked groggily and looked around. There was a sandwich and a glass of water next to his lamp, somehow. Dan had probably put them there. Oh god, Dan. What had he done last night?! Slowly, the memories of last night returned to him. He had asked Dan to marry him, told Dan his love poem, and, last but most certainly not least, kissed him. Phil felt a blinding panic overwhelm him as he slowly ate the sandwich and drank some water. This was not good. Dan was most certainly horrified at the fact that Phil had kissed him… Phil stood up (Dan had put him to bed but hadn’t taken off his shoes? The lazy bastard) and fumbled for his phone, pressing the contact for Jenny he had made.

  
“Hey, Jenny? I know we just met, but do you think I could come over to your place?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, any mistakes are my own! Also, this was supposed to be a short fanfiction with only two chapters. Oh well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan was pissed.

Dan was pissed. He had a good reason to be so, as he when he woke up he immediately went and knocked on Phil's door. When there was no answer, he opened the door, expecting to see a sleeping Phil, to see that the bed was empty. He was flooded with concern, then confusion when he saw the sandwich had been eaten, and finally anger when he realized what Phil had done.

"Phil, you arse!" he shouted, stomping through the apartment looking for Phil, although he knew that he wouldn't find him. Finally, he forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down. "Okay Dan, time to be Sherlock Holmes stalking John Watson." He returned to Phil's room and looked for clues to where he had gone. He eventually gave up and went into the kitchen to eat Phil's cereal.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil was not proud of what he had done. He had fled in the early morning when Dan would surely want answers about why Phil had done what he did last night. Currently, Phil was sitting on Jenny's couch trying to come up with the best way to say 'hey I know I kissed you and told you a love poem and asked you to marry me but it was completely platonic so can we still be friends lol' without actually saying it.

When he had arrived at Jenny's, she of coursed wanted to know why Phil had called her as she had had only a couple hours sleep since she had closed the bar at three. He had told her something had happened, and had managed to hold off her questions by saying that he needed to sleep off his hangover (which he did need to). But now that it was twelve, and Phil was mostly better, he knew that he wouldn't be able to dodge her questions any longer.

"So, Phil," Jenny said from the chair across from him. "Want to tell me why you called me at five in the morning?"

Phil looked up at her. She was glaring at him, and Phil assumed it had taken her a while to go back to sleep after he had called her, and he hadn't even told her why he needed to come over. "So, I went back mine and Dan's apartment last night."

Jenny's expression changed immediately, and she sprang up from her chair. "Give me a second, I'm making popcorn." Phil stared at her as she went into her kitchen and she indeed did put microwave popcorn into her microwave. When she returned a few minutes later with a bowl full of popcorn, Phil raised an eyebrow at her. "What?" She shrugged. "My wifi's on the fritz, so I haven't gotten my usual fill of Netflix in a while." She sat back down in the chair, staring at Phil expectantly. "Okay, go."

Phil sighed, before he started again. "So when I got back, the first thing I did was... well, I asked Dan to marry me." Now it was Jenny's turn to raise an eyebrow. "What? I was drunk."

"After that, I may or may not have told him a love poem I made up. And when Dan brought in a sandwich he made for me, I kinda of sorta maybe kissed him?" Phil shuffled uncomfortably, and he looked at Jenny, expecting to see an expression of pity or concern. Instead, he saw that she was grinning like Sherlock Season 4 was coming out early.

"So, even after telling him a sappy love poem and asking him to marry you he made you a sandwich? Well, that sounds like love to me."

"Wh-what?"

"I don't know about you and your friends, but if my friend made me a sandwich and brought me water after I had asked them to marry me and told me a love poem while I was drunk, I'm pretty sure they would love me, at least in a platonic way."

Phil stared at her. He had no idea what to say in response.

"So, let's get you some food, and then we can continue this discussion." She said, tossing popcorn into her mouth.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After eating most of Phil's cereal, mostly out of spite, Dan finally decided that he would go look for Phil. Of course, it was still way too early for any bar to be open, so he couldn't investigate the nearby bars... So what else could he do? He could text Phil, but judging on the fact he had fled he would be shocked if Phil actually answered, but it was the best shot he had.

_Phil, where are you?_

Short, sweet, simple and to the point. Dan pressed send.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil stared at his phone. He had been expecting this sooner or later, he had just been hoping it would've been later. The bowl of cereal sat in front of him, mostly uneaten. Jenny stared at him from across the small kitchen table. "Who is it? It's Dan, isn't it? What did he say?"

Phil looked up at her. "You said you knew me from a friend who was a fan of me. Are you sure that's not you?"

She blushed. "I watch your videos from time to time. But anyways, what did he say?"

Phil sighed before finally complying. "He asked where I am. What should I say?" She shrugged.

"I'm not Dan. What do you think you should say?"

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I'm at the apartment of the bartender from the bar I went to last night_

Dan did not expect a reply at all, so was startled when his phone beeped less than a minute after he had sent Phil a text. And Dan certainly had not expected for Phil to say he was at the apartment of the bartender from the bar Phil had went to. Maybe at the park, petting dogs? But not at the apartment of a bartender. Dan's stomach churned as he sent a reply.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Why?_

Phil didn't know what to say to that, so instead he put his phone away and continued to eat his cereal mopleily (He could hear Dan's voice in his head- _mopeily isn't even a word, Phil_ ). Jenny sipped her tea judgmentally. "So, what are you going to do?" The bowl of popcorn sat nearby.

"I don't know." Phil said. He shoved a spoonful of cheerios into his mouth.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan frowned at his phone when he didn't get a reply after a couple of minutes. This was not good. Had... had Phil hooked up with the bartender? Maybe they had gotten close, and the bartender convinced Phil to play a prank on Dan. A very, very, _very_ mean prank. And then after Dan had gone to sleep Phil had went back to the bar and then they hooked up? Oh god, they had hadn't they. Phil hadn't dated anyone in years, and in one night after going to a bar Phil had hooked up with someone. God, this was the worst day Dan had had in months. Dan sadly went onto Netflix and started to watch the eighth season of Doctor Who in an attempt to distract him from the fact that Phil had probably hooked up with someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter once, and hated how it turned out, so I rewrote the entire thing. I've never done that before. Well, this is my first fic with multiple chapters ever, so I'm doing a lot of things I haven't done before.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So," Jenny started, "you obviously need to go back to your place today."

"So," Jenny started, "you obviously need to go back to your place today."

"What?! No way, I have no idea how to explain my actions to Dan!" Phil shivered, wishing he had grabbed a thicker jacket when he had left.

"Well, as much as I love having an internet celebrity over at my house, you're eating all my cereal." she said dryily.

Phil looked down at his third bowl of cheerios. "I eat when I'm feeling guilty."

"Yeah, well, stop it. You need to go and talk to Dan."

Phil rubbed his cold arms. "...Fine, but can I get something to apologize to him? Like some ice cream or something?"

Jenny grinned, and Phil suddenly wished he had stayed at his and Dan's apartment. "I have just the thing."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan was not moping. He was just... Sad Phil had left? Yeah that made sense. And also sad that Phil had hooked up with someone and was at their apartment. He totally wasn't sad that it wasn't him that Phil had hooked up with. Yeah. His not-moping was interrupted when he heard a knock on the door. Which was confusing, because why would Phil knock? Unless it wasn't Phil and was some murderer who was going to- Dan pushed his paranoia out of his head and got up to answer the door.

To Dan's surprise, it was indeed Phil. He was holding a box, and Dan vaguely wondered what could be in it. "Hi." Phil said, and Dan just stared at him. Phil stared back. This continued for several minutes before Dan finally broke the silence.

"Was it a prank?"

"Uh, what?"

"Was it a prank?" Dan felt the sobs start to come up his throat, but he choked them down. He wanted to cry, and scream, and kiss Phil until the world ended, but he couldn't. He couldn't, and it was killing him. He could scream, though.

He pulled Phil in by the scruff of his t-shirt and slammed the door behind him so he could hold Phil against it. Phil somehow managed to hold onto the box through all this.

"WAS IT A PRANK, PHIL?! WAS IT A PRANK, YOU ASKING TO MARRY ME?! YOU KISSING ME?!" Dan was definitely crying now, and he let a couple of sobs escaped his throat. Phil stared at him,  bewildered.

"It- it wasn't a prank, Dan." He tightened his grip on the box between his hands, before repeating his statement louder. "It wasn't a prank, Dan!" He quickly set the box down on the ground and shoved it away with his foot. He pulled Dan's hand away from where it was gripping his shirt, but he didn't let go.

Instead, he did something Dan thought Phil would never do, no matter how much he hoped for it.

He kissed him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Roughly 18 Hours Into The Future, Give Or Take A Couple Hours** _

"Oh god, Phil." Dan felt sick. "What have you done?" Dan stared at his hands, tears smudging the ink on the paper he held in between his hands.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Back To The Present** _

Dan did not know what was happening. Where was he? He had been crying, he knew that. He thinks he had also been screaming, but he's not sure. But now there are lips pressed against his? What??? Where did those lips come from? And who are they attached to?

Dan's eyes surged open, and he realized something. He was kissing Phil. Wait, no. Phil was kissing him. Was Phil drunk again? Dan was pretty sure that Phil wasn't drunk again, but then why would Phil be kissing him? For that matter, why would Phil kiss him if he was drunk? Does Phil just kiss people when he's drunk? Or is Dan just dreaming? Is he in the Matrix? Dan honestly doesn't know anymore.

Huh. Phil's still kissing him. It certainly feels real enough. But how could you tell if you're dreaming or not? Don't dreams feel real? Wait, Phil's stopped kissing him. Should Dan be happy or sad about that?

Phil was not sure what he should do now. He had just kissed Dan - _again_ \- and Dan had done nothing but stare at him. What if Jenny was wrong? What if Dan didn't want him that way? Had Phil made a mistake? Phil felt panic start to set in. Should he leave? But- what about the plan? What about the gift? Phil glanced at the box lying a couple feet away. Did he have time to grab it? Phil hesitated, before swinging open the door and running through it, leaving a frozen Dan behind.

At seeing Phil running away ( _Wow, Phil. You're fleeing for the second time in two days. Classy. At least you have the dignity to do this one in person_ ), Dan came out of his trance-like state. Dan shot through the door, and called to Phil, who was going as quick as he safely could. "Phil! Wait!" But Phil didn't stop, and if anything, Dan's words made Phil go faster.

Dan didn't have the energy to chase Phil, so he walked back into the apartment, many things racing through his mind.

_Why did Phil kiss me? Again? He was drunk the first time, which still isn't really an excuse, but why did he kiss me this time? Does he like me that way? Why would he like me that way? And why wouldn't he say something if he did? He must at least have an inkling about my non-platonic love for him, right? But he hooked up with someone, right? Who is she? Or he? Did he hook up with a guy? What's going on?_

Dan slowly shut the door behind him, before turning towards the box Phil had left on the floor. What could be in it? Dan had no idea. He approached it as if it was a bomb, and slowly lifted up the white cardboard lid.

Inside was a cake. It was a chocolate cake. But that wasn't the important part. What the important part was the words written on the cake in shaky pink icing, and Dan could tell that it was Phil's handwriting even though it was just icing. The cake read this:

_I love you._

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Two chapters in two days!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil had no idea what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CUTE LITTLE FLUFF PIECE WITH TWO CHAPTERS

Phil had no idea what to do. He had just literally ran away from Dan, abandoning the box with the cake. He knows that he could’ve salvaged it when Dan started screaming at him, but now that Phil has kissed Dan? While he’s sober? Dan certainly wants nothing to do with him. Jenny was wrong.

 _Jenny_ …. Phil thought vaguely, before pulling out his phone. “Hey, Jenny? Yeah, it’s me, Phil. I need to come over to your place again…”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan was lost. The cake sat in front of him, and he had been staring at it every since he opened the box. _The cake is a lie._ _Or is it?_

Ah, yes, the words on the cake. What could they mean? If Phil had given him this cake a couple days ago, Dan would’ve felt like it was such a meaningful gift, and they would’ve eaten it while watching anime and they probably would’ve stayed up late into the night. But now, after everything that had happened? The cake meant something else entirely. Now Phil had kissed him, twice, once when drunk and once when sober. Oh yeah, what the hell were both of those about?! All the stuff that had happened when Phil was drunk was crazy enough (Seriously, if it wasn’t a prank, then why the hell did Phil kiss him and ask him to marry him?) Like, he was drunk, so it kinda made sense? But then Phil kissed while he was completely sober. So, did Phil like or like like him? Dan wasn’t sure.

Dan finally ate some of the cake and re-watched half of Ouran Highschool Host Club before going to bed.

When Dan awoke in the morning, he lay in bed for half an hour before getting him up. He didn’t even go on his phone.

He still felt lost. Why did Phil kiss him? He didn’t know. Did Phil hook up with the mysterious bartender? Dan didn’t know. Was Phil ever going to come back? Dan didn’t know. Did… did Phil love him?

Dan finally got out of a bed when he thought of the last one.

He groggily made himself a bowl of cheerios, and it took him five minutes to notice the note on the table.  Dan froze before he reached for it.

_Dear Dan_

_Just let me say… I’m sorry._

_I… I did some things which you clearly didn’t want me to_ (Dan wonders what these are).

 _You’re probably confused and upset_ (Well that was true) _and you have all the right to hate me_ (Where’s Phil going with this?)

_So… I’m moving out._

Dan knew there were more lines on the letter, but he was too busy crying.

It would take Dan five minutes to stop lying on the floor.

It would take Dan ten minutes to calm down a bit.

Dan was pretty sure that he still had tears dripping from his eyes, and he had no idea when they would stop, or if they would ever.

But Dan knew for sure that his heart would never stop crying.

After half an hour, Dan finally worked it up to read the rest of the letter.

_Don’t worry about my stuff, I’ll figure something out._

_There are some things I will need to go though, so just… Tell me when you’re out and about so I can stop by to get them._

_I’ll be posting a video tomorrow. I’ll keep everything pretty vague, don’t worry._

_Again, I’m sorry that I kissed you. I know it was wrong._

_Please, take care of yourself. Don’t worry about me._

_-Phil_

"Oh god, Phil." Dan felt sick. "What have you done?" Dan stared at his hands, tears smudging the ink on the paper he held in between his hands.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil Lester was pretty sure he was the worst human being ever.

Okay, well, not the worst human being _ever_ ever, but you get the idea.

He drunkenly molested his best friend, left without apologizing, and later returned only to molest him again and then again left without apologizing. He knows it was pretty sucky to leave a note, but, hey, he’s pretty sure Dan doesn’t want to see his face right now.

Also, Phil has no idea why Dan was crying and asking if the fact Phil kissed him and asked Dan to marry him (Phil is never going to drink again) was a prank. What would make Dan think it was a prank? And then of course Phil wanted to comfort Dan, so for some reason his brain decided it was a good idea to kiss Dan at that moment. And then he did. And then, when Dan simply stared at him, he ran.

So, Phil’s not feeling too hot right now. He had to explain to Jenny what happened, and she did of course let him in again, but not before sighing and scolding him for running away.

Oh, AND he has to make a video about all of it! Jenny’s going to let him stay with her for a bit until he gets a new place to stay. He’s not looking forward to talking to Dan again, so right now he’s still camping on her couch. Phil has no idea how he’s going to explain the fact he’s not in the apartment and that he’s sort of moving out in one video, but he’ll find a way.

He always finds a way, even if it makes everyone unhappy in the end.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**JENNY’S VIDEO DIARY**

**DATE: 8/11/15**

**ENTRY NUMBER: 29**

**TITLED: YOUNG BOYS IN LOVE**

_*a picture of a blonde woman appears on screen. she looks like she hasn’t gotten that much sleep…  she starts talking.*_

“Hi future Jenny! Or whoever else I show this to! So, some crazzzzyy stuff has has being going on…”

_*there is the sound of a cup shattering, and someone yelling, and then a male voice breaks in*_

“Jenny! I broke a cup!”

_*the women onscreen sighs, and exits for a minute or two. she returns, and she is now sucking her right pointer finger, which has a small cut on it.*_

“Sorry about that, anyways. So. I have… AmazingPhil in my apartment.”

_*as she says this, she throws her hands up in the air in joy*_

“Like, I’m not his biggest fan, we all know that’s Dan-” _*she snorts*_ “but it’s still amazing! He’s been having some troubles with his roommate. As in, he’s in love with him.”

_*she snorts again*_

“I’ve never actually met Dan, but… Well, I’m pretty sure Phil’s feelings are returned.”

_*she frowns*_

“Phil hasn’t told me the exact details of what happened, but I’m fine with it. Everyone needs privacy. As friends, we’re pretty close for people who literally met a day ago. All he’s told me is that he kissed Dan again, he left before Dan could say anything, and he left the cake there. I’m a bit worried about Phil, and Dan, because without Phil….”

_*she chews her bottom lip.*_

“What I mean is, Phil really save- helped! Helped Dan, and I don’t know how well Dan, at least what I’ve seen of him, how well he can fare with Phil not being there.”

 _*she brushes her hair back and smiles at the camera._ *

“But! I’ve got a plan.”

_*she winks*_

“Sorry this video blog is so short, future me, but there’s just so much going on. Anyways, I’ll record another soon, I hope!”

_*she reaches towards the camera, and the video cuts to black.*_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added the end bit cause I felt bad for doing such an angstyish chapter. Also...
> 
> FOUR COMMENTS ON ONE CHAPTER OH MY GOD I WANT TO GIVE EVERYONE WHO VIEWS THIS A HUG SERIOUSLY LIKE I NEVER EXPECTED TO GET ONE COMMENT I'M PRETTY HAPPY OKAY
> 
> (If you didn't get the thing about the cake being a lie, look up the game Portal and you'll understand)
> 
> Also also! Please tell me what you like, and what you don't like! DO you want more of Dan and Phil's thoughts or nah? Do you want more of Phil being clueless or nah? Do you want more of Jenny's video diary entries or nah? It's up to you, folks! Well, not 100%, but I will take everything into account!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil stared at the broken pieces of cup lying on the paper towel.

Phil stared at the broken pieces of cup lying on the paper towel. He didn’t know why he hadn’t thrown them away. Jenny had handed it to him and asked him to throw them away (she said she was doing something important) but here he was, sitting on the table, just staring at them. He thinks it’s because he feels like the shattered pieces of the cup represent his life right now. _Wow Phil, you sound like Dan._

Phil sighed and slumped slowly out of the chair until he was halfway on the ground. God, he missed Dan. And he was so booooreeedddddd. Jenny had gone out, something about ‘Phil, you’re great, but not all of us can have their dream job. I’ve been getting a friend to cover for me, but I need to go to work. I’ll be back around two.’ Phil glanced at the clock. It was only 11? Godddd. Yeah, he should probably be sleeping, but he was used to staying up all night either watching anime with Dan or just surfing the web.

Phil glanced at Jenny’s laptop. She hadn’t said he couldn’t use it, right? Well, she had said only to use it if he had a sudden urge to know how many breeds of cats there was or something. It wasn’t like Phil was looking through her computer, right…?

Okay, okay, he was only going to watch one youtube video. Just one. He flipped open her laptop and opened google chrome. He then searched for, ‘dan howell falling off chairs compilation.’

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan was pretty sure he was now clinically depressed. Of course, there was no way to be sure, as he was way too shy to ever go to a doctor of his own free will unless he was bleeding to death, but right now, it seemed like it was almost certain. It was just…. Phil had been his anchor. And now Phil was gone. But why?

Why had Phil left? It had said in his letter that it was because he had kissed Dan. But… Dan didn’t mind that. Dan would go to Phil right now and tell him that he loved him and wanted him to stay, but he had no idea where Phil was, and he certainly wouldn’t be looking at any texts from Dan anymore.

Dan started to get angry. Phil was leaving him. He was leaving him, and all of their fans. How was Phil going to explain to them that somehow he and Dan had had something happen? He certainly wouldn’t say that he kissed Dan, because he said in his letter he was going to keep things vague. Oh god, what the hell did that mean? Dan was getting so fumed that he almost missed the doorbell ringing.

When Dan went to answer the door, he found a young woman with blonde hair standing there.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenny felt kind of bad for lying to Phil.

She wasn’t lying exactly, she just wasn’t telling the whole truth. Yes, she had been getting a friend to cover for her, and yes, she did stop by her work to talk to her friend about the whole Dan and Phil business, but she only spent about twenty minutes there before she did something she never thought she would do.

She took a taxi to Dan and Phil’s apartment building.

And then she walked up the stairs. And then she stood outside the door that she knew behind it was Phil’s bedroom and a (probably) moping Dan.

And then she knocked on the door. She was surprised, for some reason, to see Dan standing there. Although she knew it was his and Phil’s apartment, it was still shocking to see him in real life.

Dan stared at her for a couple seconds before asking, “Who are you?’’

Oh yeah, he had no idea who she was. Jenny already felt like she knew him, with all the videos she watched and from what Phil had said about him. “My name’s Jenny.”

Hmm, no reaction. Phil must’ve not told Dan the name of the bartender when he said he was staying at her apartment. Well, that made things a little bit trickier.

Dan still just stared at her, and Jenny felt slightly intimidated by his height. She wasn’t short, but she was not a giant like Dan or Jared Padalecki. “I’m a bartender. Phil’s staying at my apartment.”

Now, THAT got a reaction. Dan’s face immediately showed disgust and jealousy, although he quickly (unsuccessfully) tried to cover it up.

“Why are you here? Did Phil send you to get his stuff back?”

Huge surge of hostility. Yep, he was definitely in love with Phil. Or just peeved that his best friend wasn’t talking to him. God, Jenny hoped it was the first one, otherwise her plan would fall apart like her vague belief that Phil was maybe  straight until she met him.

“Actually, I’m here to tell you why Phil kissed you.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that took a completely different turn from what Dan had expected. Ever since she had said she was the bartender, Dan’s thoughts towards her had mostly consisted of things like ‘ _devil woman_ ’ and ‘ _u took my man u bitch_.’  

“... Why did Phil kiss me?” Dan wanted to know, and there was a slight chance that this woman was telling the truth.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

What the hell type of question was that? Of course Dan wanted to know. He was pretty sure it didn’t mean Phil hated him, because when you kiss someone it means you like them. But of course Phil didn’t like Dan that way.

“Of course I want to know!”

She paused, and Dan was pretty sure she was purposely building up suspense. “Phil kissed you because he loves you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of u are so sweet. Seriously. I smile every time I see a comment.
> 
> Sorry I haven't updated in a bit, I've been getting back into the groove of school and also posted a bit on my two other active works. Which you should totally check out. If you want.
> 
> BUT I LOVE ALL U GUYS PLEASE DON'T BE AFRAID TO COMMENT EVEN IF YOU ONLY HAVE BAD THINGS TO SAY ANYONE WHO TAKES THEIR TIME TO READ MY WRITING IS AWESOME


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil did not know how this had happened. He had promised himself one video, and that would be it.

Phil did not know how this had happened. He had promised himself one video, and that would be it. He watched a video of Dan falling out of chairs, which made him extremely happy and sad. Happy because Dan was such a goofball, sad because he would soon be leaving him. But, here he was, who had somehow gotten to… The very first Phil is not on fire. Phil stared as the younger version of himself tackled Dan. Of course, that he would ever say it out loud, but he figured that would be the only time he would be on top of Dan.

Against Phil’s better judgement, he snorted.

Phil then looked at Jenny’s video camera, which she had left on her table next to her tripod. He had told her about how he wanted to film a video of him basically saying he wasn’t living with Dan anymore. Fear curled in his stomach as he walked over to the camera and turned it on.

“Hey guys…”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“W-what?” Well, that certainly wasn’t expected. Maybe ‘he was horny because I was flirting with him so after he kissed you we went back to my place and had sex’, but certainly not to be told Phil loved him.

“Oh, I don’t mean platonic love, just in case you’re confused. Or a ‘I-really-like-you-as-a-friend-but-would-fuck-you-if-you-asked’ type of love. When I say love, I mean he not only is attracted to you, but is interested in you romantically.”

Dan shivered. What the hell is going on?! “You slept with Phil.” He stated it like it’s a fact, but now he’s not so sure.

Jenny blinked at him, before laughing for 15 seconds straight. Dan counted.

“Y-you think that I- that we-” she wiped tears out of her eyes before standing up straight and smiling at Dan. “Dan, I did not sleep with Phil.”

Dan stared at her. Phil was awesome, so Dan was pretty sure that if she _had_ slept with Phil, she would be bragging about it, not denying it. He decided to believe her. For now. But she clearly didn’t know Phil that well. “Phil’s not in love with me. He might love, me as a friend, but…” Dan trailed off, drooping his hands at his sides.

Jenny looked at him with a very serious look. “Dan. Do you know what Phil said to me, when I first saw him in my bar a couple days ago?” Dan looked at her. Did he want to know? He wasn’t sure. She cleared her though, and then tried to do what Dan thinks might have been an attempt as Phil’s voice. “You see, I’ve got this flatmate, right? He’s my best friend; I couldn’t live without him. But… I’m also in love with him.”

“He-he must’ve been joking.” But the way she said it made Dan think Phil hadn’t been. Wait, why was Dan trying to disprove her? He had wanted Phil for ages, and here this woman was giving him plenty of evidence. Dan guess it’s because that would mean that Dan could’ve just told Phil and they could be happily dating-maybe even _married_ \- rather than… Well, where they are right now.

“Dan, Phil kissed you while he was drunk, and the next day kissed you while he was sober and also bring you a cake with the words I love you written on it. I’m pretty sure that’s love.” Jennny said dryly.

Dan stared at her, and the frown on his face started to slowly turn into a smile. She was right. She was right! Phil was in love with him! That meant he just had to find Phil (Jenny must know where he was) and tell him that he loved him and then… Wait, why was Jenny staring at him like the world had ended? She had pulled out her phone to check a text, and now she was looking at him like he was a ghost.

Silently, Jenny handed Dan the phone. It was a text from Phil (Dan crushed down the jealousy- now that he knew Jenny hadn’t slept with Phil, he actually sort of liked her), and it only consisted of two words.

_It’s posted._

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**AMAZINGPHIL’S VIDEO**

**DATE: 8/12/15**

**VIDEO NUMBER: ?**

**TITLED: HEY GUYS…**

_*a young man with a black fringe and blue eyes in sitting down. the room isn’t that brightly lit, and there is lots of objects scattered around the room. the man begins talking.*_

“Hey guys... Phil here…”

_*the man looks upset, and like he’s recently been crying, but he’s smiling.*_

“So! You’re probably wondering what’s with the strange place and the funky camera. Well…”

* _the man rubs the back of his neck with his left hand and chews his lower lip.*_

“To put it simply, some stuff happened.” _*he chuckles, as if he had made a joke. it looks like he is about to start crying again. in a effort to prevent tears, he wipes his nose and rubs his eyes, which have shadows under them, as if he hasn’t gotten much sleep.*_

“Well, I’m not in me and Dan’s apartment. Well, I should say I’m not in Dan’s apartment.”

_*he pauses, waiting for his statement to sink in.*_

“So. I’m moving out of the apartment. Me and Dan are fine, by the way. We’re both fine.”

_*he mumbles this under his breath several times afterwards, as if reassuring his statement is true to himself.*_

“I’m really sorry, this probably seems pretty sudden, and I know I’m not telling you guys what happened. I promise I’ll have another video uploaded as soon as I get my equipment.”

_*the man starts to say bye, but he chokes out a sob, and his hand quickly covers the camera, although crying can be heard for a second before the video ends.*_

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil cries for 10 more minutes afterward. Well, that was the best take so far. He’s getting tired, so he’ll have to use this one. God, he would kill for some editing software he understood. As he posts the video, he know people will freak out, but he just doesn’t care anymore. Right now, all he wants is his Dan. So, cheeks still wet with tears, he flops down onto the couch and settles into an uneasy sleep, his dreams filled with plaid and emo ducks, but mainly about his Dan.

Not knowing that very near Dan is crying for his Phil.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the short chapters, it's just kind of my writing style and all I have time for because I feel bad when I go a week without posting anything.
> 
> Anyways, what's going to happen? What's Jenny's plan? Find out soon... Or maybe later, I don't even know anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil glared at the laptop.

Phil glared at the laptop. He was looking at his newly posted video, which already had a couple thousand views. It was tempting him. It wanted him to scroll down and see the comments, of which there was many. But he couldn’t. There would be so many people worrying about him and Dan, and people who would be angry at him, and people would would be mad at him… It was just too much to handle

Phil glanced at the time and date, 8/13/15 at 3:20. He had spent for a couple hours and woke up at 2:45, shocked to find that Jenny wasn’t back yet. He had quickly sent her a text, asking where she was, and she had responded saying that she was fine and she would be a bit late. But… now it was 3:20- scratch that, 3:21- and she still wasn’t here. Phil had known Jenny for maybe one or two days, but he already really liked her, and was a tiny bit worried. But… was it really worth it to do what he was thinking about doing?

And what was Phil thinking about doing, exactly? Phil was thinking about going to Jenny’s bar to try to find her. Why was Phil getting so worked up about where she was? Hm… Maybe he felt like since she had been nice to him when he was vulnerable and also he was really missing Dan and just wanted a friend?

Nah, that couldn’t be it.

But, Phil was bored, and worried, so he picked up the slip of paper Jenny had written the address of the bar she worked at (Phil had already been there, why did she have to write it down?). Phil had thought she owned it, but apparently it was a joint ownership or something. Anyways, if she wasn’t back at like five, she had said to go to the bar and then talk to the person working there.

So, Phil, with a heart that was way too big for his own good, left Jenny’s apartment and, making sure lock the door behind him (seriously she had given him a pair of keys she must really think he wouldn't steal from her and well he wouldn’t but that wasn’t the point), he started his journey to his and Dan’s- nope, not his, just Dan’s apartment.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay, Dan. Do you’re finally calm enough to talk?” Jenny rubbed Dan’s back as he shuddered, the blanket around his shoulder slipping off slightly, his hands clutching the cup of peppermint tea like it was a lifeline.

Dan nodded slowly. “May- maybe?”

“Well, you spent a long time crying, and you locked yourself in the bathroom for a little bit before I threatened to kick the door down because if you were gonna hurt yourself I would kill you, and now you have a blanket and a cup of tea. And I know we meant roughly two hours ago, but I’m really worried about you, and it might make you better if you talk about it?”

“Well…” Dan sniffed, and took a sip of his tea. “I’m upset, because Phil posted a public video saying that he’s moving out, and there’s really no going back from that…”

As Dan’s lower lip started to tremble, Jenny ceased rubbing his back and instead put her hands on her hips and frowned. “Dan, you are an amazing person. What makes you say there is no way to salvage this?”

Dan blinked the tears out of the eyes and turned to look at her. “Phil posted a public video saying that he had moved out. How can you salvage that?”

Jenny opened her mouth, and shut it. “Well, umm…”

“Yeah, how can you, Jenny?” Dan set his cup down with a bit of force. “How?” Dan stood up, and Jenny felt herself shrink beneath his 6’ 3’’ body. “The love of my life just walked out on me. The man I have spent nights thinking about how beautiful and amazing and perfect he is. The man I would drop everything for. I love this man so much....” Dan bent down to get up close and personal in her face. “I would kill myself for him, if he asked me to.” And then the tears returned, and then Jenny stood up to comfort Dan, but the door to the apartment swung open.

“Did… Did you really mean all that?” Phil’s eyes widened.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phil was about to knock on the door, but then he heard a thump, and then Dan’s muffled voice. “How? The love of my life just walked out on me.” Phil almost fell down, but Dan wasn’t finished. “The love of my life just walked out on me. The man I have spent nights thinking about how beautiful and amazing and perfect he is. The man I would drop everything for. I love this man so much....” Phil’s lips parted as he let out a gasp, but quickly muffled it. “I would kill myself for him, if he asked me to.” Phil couldn’t believe what he was hearing was. Was Dan being serious?

Phil managed to wrangle the door open and look at Dan, whose face was covered in tears, much like Dan’s own. “Did… Did you really mean all that?” Phil choked out, and Jenny’s eyes flickered from Dan to Phil, and then back again to Dan.

“I… I should give you guys some privacy,” she mumbled out, and grabbed her bag before rushing past Phil, who barely even noticed.

“Well? Did you?” Phil asked, stumbling closer to Dan, who was staring at him in shock.

“I- I- How did-”

“Wait, before you say anything…” Phil held out a hand to stop Dan from speaking. “Dan, you are the love of my life. I’ve loved you since the day I first met you, and I have wanted to be with out ever since our first Skype call together. Now, I’m pretty sure you feel the same way... “ Phil gulped. “But if you don’t, just give me the word and I will walk right out of this apartment and your life right now.” Phil stared down at the carpet, but he looked up when Dan’s hands grabbed his face and jerked their mouths together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna end when Phil busted in but that would've been cruel.
> 
> I think this fic is nearing it's end, guys. One, maybe two more chapters? I don't know for sure, but this fic will always be special to me because it was my first fanfiction with more than just one chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although Phil had kissed Dan twice, this time it was very very different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind, this is in fact my first smut fic, so don't judge toooooooo harshly.
> 
> I really don't know what I'm doing help me

Although Phil had kissed Dan twice, this time it was very very different. This time, it had been Dan who initiated the kiss. Dan was the one who was kissing him, Phil wasn’t kissing Dan. So when Dan’s mouth pressed against his, Phil just gave into the kiss.

Dan had been worried about the fact that he had kissed Phil. Yes, Phil had kissed him, but still. But now, Dan had been the one who started it. Phil relaxed against Dan and reached up to hold the younger man’s cheeks with his hands. After a couple more seconds of the kiss, they broke apart, Dan still clutching the sides of Phil’s head. They gasped for breath, but both were smiling so wide that if you saw them in the street you might’ve thought they had a disorder.

“So, is that it then?” Phil asked, moving his hands so they combed through Dan’s hair. “You like me?”

“Phil, I love you. I love you to the ends of the earth, I love you to-” Dan was interrupted by Phil pushing Dan backwards until his back was against a wall, and Phil leaned in and kissed Dan again. Dan sighed and melted into the kiss, but Phil broke it off to look at Dan.

“Dan, I love you, but there is something you must understand.” Phil became suddenly serious, his eyes boring into Dan’s and his hands planted on either side of Dan’s torso.

“I am not the thing that keeps you going through life, and if I am, that’s fine. But I can’t be the only thing that does that, because if something happens to me, or I get hurt, I need you to keep going. I cannot bear hurting you, so while I can be your rock, I can’t be the only thing keeping you here. I may leave one day, and you need to promise that if that happens, you won’t hurt others or yourself.”

Dan frowned and opened his mouth to protest, but Phil shook his head. “Promise.”

“Okay, Phil. I promise.” he said, and there Phil was again, kissing Dan, and Dan thought it would be rather appropriate to wrap his arms around Phil, and so he reached his left arm down wrapped it around Phil’s upper waist to bring him closer, but his right one reached up to grab Phil’s hair.

Phil, on the other hand, did something slightly different. One hand was grasping Dan’s face, but Dan shivered as he felt Phil’s right hand slider down Dan’s shirt and, oh, into his pants.

Phil slowed the kiss, and pulled away slightly to look at Dan. “Dan, I’m really- excited-” he glanced down at his pants, his cheeks blushing blush red-  “but I need to know, well,- you’re okay with this, right?” Phil gestured with his free hand towards his other hand.

Dan glared at Phil, and wheezed out when he felt Phil accidentally touch his, well, penis, “Phil, if you don’t touch me right now I will scream.”

Phil slowly moved his hand, and both let out a little gasp when Phil touched Dan’s dick again. Phil rested his head against the wall, and Dan gripped Phil’s sides as Phil grabbed his dick. “Phil, please…” Dan panted, and he was pretty sure, even though he had been living with Phil for about five years now, he had never been this sexually frustrated. Well, maybe except for that one time Dan walked in on Phil jerking off, but you get the idea.

Phil gently kissed Dan’s neck as he slowly pulled at Dan’s dick, and Dan could feel Phil’s erection pressing against his leg. Phil hummed when Dan gasped again, and let out at a sigh as he pressed his clothed dick against Dan’s skinny jeans. Dan squirmed when Phil gave a sudden squeeze, and he desperately wanted for Phil to make him come right there and then, but he managed to stutter his slow rhythm of pressing against Phil’s hand.

“Phil, I’ve waited for this for years..” he stuttered out, and Phil paused in making patterns on Dan’s neck with kisses. “so I want it to be special and-”

Dan wasn’t finished, but Phil pulled his hand out of Dan’s pants and Dan whined at the loss. He took a step so he was standing in front of Dan, and reached up on his toes and kissed Dan on the forehead. Dan started at the sudden touch of affection, but hummed in comfort when Phil decided to kiss Dan all over his face but avoided his lips. He took Dan by the arm and together they struggled towards Phil’s bedroom, with Phil banging his foot on his door in the process.

Phil had never been with a man before, and had only had sex once or twice, and those few times he had done it there had been little connection with the women he had done it with, but this was different. This was with Dan. Dan, who he had started talking to in 2009. Dan, the man who was ridiculously cute with his shyness and his love of llamas and his habit of posting terrible memes. This was his Dan, and although Phil was scared, scared of the future and what it held, scared of what would happen if him and Dan didn’t work out, he wanted this, and apparently so did Dan.

Dan and Phil stared at each other awkwardly for a couple seconds once they were inside Phil’s bedroom. It was no longer a ‘heat of the moment’ type thing. This wasn’t a ‘hey ur hot im hot lets do it’ situation, it was a moment filled with tension and awkwardness and embarrassment but most of all, love.

“Um, so, should I lay down and you can…?” Dan asked, and Phil waved his hand in the air in ‘it doesn’t really matter to me what you do’ sort of fashion. Dan thanked whatever angel was watching out for him above as he shuffled over to the bed that he wasn’t wearing shoes, because it would be even more awkward for him to have to sit down and try to wrangle off his shoes. Dan sat on the bed and was going to lie down when he let out a squeak as Phil suddenly pushed him down onto the bed and was now hovering about Dan, a blush on his cheeks. Dan stared at him for a second before lifting his up head up and covering Phil’s stuttering lips with his own.

Phil sighed into the kiss, letting his shoulders lose their tension. This was what he wanted. He wanted exactly what he currently had with Dan, except with kisses and snuggles and maybe some sex every once in awhile. He pulled away momentarily to use his hands to take off his shirt, shivering at the sudden cold. He glanced at Dan, who seemed a little stiff, and decided he didn’t want this to be serious, with them just making out and doing it but not saying anything. He wanted this to be love.

“It’s so cold, I looked at the window and the frost had formed a rare pepe.” Phil said.

Dan stared at Phil, before he burst out laughing. “Really Phil? That- _that_ was the best you could come up with?” he wiped a tear out of his eye before Phil leaned down, grinning, and kissed him again. Dan felt Phil’s bare chest with his hands, reveling in the fact he was now allowed to feel Phil while he was naked. They had seen each other naked many times before, but now he was allowed to touch and stare instead of just sneaking glances. It also helped distract him from the raging boner he had going on that Phil was barely avoiding touching.

“Wait, wait, let me-” Phil sat up to let Dan pull off his t-shirt and lie back down, laughing as he did so. “Now we match.”

“Oh my god, Dan.” Phil shook his head at the cute idiot beneath him, and gestured towards Dan’s erection. “Looks like you’ve got a bit of a problem there.”

“Yeah, and you have it too.” Dan retorted. “So what are we going to do about our shared problem?”

“Well, we could get off together, or we could, you know, use some lube and… do what we do in fanfictions.”

Dan snorted. “I’m just happy to have you. I’m fine with whatever you want.”

“Well... since I’ve read so many fanfictions, I’ve kind of always wanted to try… the second one. If you’re sure you’re okay with.” Phil added on, because he would stop right now and walk away if Dan wanted him too. He wanted Dan to be happy and comfortable, and he was never, ever going to force Dan to do anything.

“I’m fine with that. Would I be the catcher or the pitcher, because I personally think I would much prefer to be the catcher, but I’m up for being the pitcher if you really want me to.”

“Gosh darn Ouran.” Phil muttered, avoiding the question. “I’m fine with being the pitcher, I guess.” _At least, that’s how I’m always portrayed in fanfictions._ Phil rolled off Dan and fumbled with his jeans, hearing Dan do the same. He let out a sigh of relief as some of the pressure on his dick was released, and rummaged through his bedside drawer for lube and a condom. God, this was really happening. This was really happening! Phil squealed internally, and apparently externally too because he heard Dan sigh and mutter “why do I love this idiot.”

As Phil turned to face Dan, Dan was practically beaming. They were now both only wearing boxers, and Dan was really excited yet really nervous because, hey, he was about to have sex with Phil, but he was also about _to have sex with Phil_. Dan sighed.

“Hey, Dan, do we have any spare blankets?”

Dan frowned. “Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“Well, um, I really like my covers.” Phil muttered out, and Dan laughed for like the fifth time that night. Wow, he really was laughing a lot. Was he high?

“We won’t make a mess.” Dan promised, then squirmed at the fact that _they were actually doing this._

Phil stared at Dan, who stared back. “So, should we just take our boxers off or…?”

“I don’t know, I only know from what I’ve read from fanfiction.” Dan stated. “Which means I actually know a lot. Huh.”

Phil laughed, and Dan was now wondering if Phil was also high.

“Let’s just… take off our pants and go from there.”

Phil shuffled out of his boxers while Dan did the same, but while lying down.

“Well, now what?” Dan could see Phil’s dick, and for the life of him couldn’t stop staring.

“I feel like we should do the thing, you know, in fanfiction where we… warm up and stuff.”

Dan shivered. “Hand me the lube.”

Phil shuffled over and handed Dan the lube. Nothing quite like the anticipation of seeing your best friend/crush warm himself up before you were about to stuck your penis in his ass.

Dan was pretty sure there would never be anything more awkward than having your love watch you prepare yourself for the first time, but hey, he was still young.

Dan pressed a lube coated finger gently into himself and hissed at the sudden pain. He heard Phil take a shuddering breath beside him, and when he looked over he could see Phil was touching himself gently. Eyes still on Phil, he very carefully pushed his finger until it was as deeply seated as he could get it. He groaned at the feeling, because there was a lot of pain and liked, maybe a drop of pleasure? It hurt, that was the point.

Phil shuddered at the sight of Dan preparing himself, as he slipped in one, then two, and now Dan was on the third. Phil was struggling with not furiously jerking himself off, but after living with Dan for so long, he could manage .

“Um, uh, Phil, I think I’m ready? I mean, I’ve never actually…” Dan trailed off, and withdrew his fingers and was about to wipe them on Phil’s blanket before he remembered his promise and wiped them on his leg.

Phil fumbled on a condom before lightly coating his dick in lube. He started at Dan, who stared back, and part of Phil wanted to jump out a window, because most of this night had been pretty awkward. _But also great._

“Dan, are you sure fanfiction is the best basis? I mean, to be fair, I have read a lot of my fair share, but still.”

“Phil, there’s no way that many people got it wrong, right?’’

Phil snickered, but it soon died out. “So, should I just- I mean, I really don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Well, neither do I, but go for it, dude.”

“Never call me dude again.” And with that, Phil pushed himself inside.

Dan was surprised at how little pain there was, but he supposed it was because he had prepared himself, and at that moment he was really glad he was born after the invention of lube.

For Phil, it was a lot like having sex with a girl, except way way better, because it was with Dan. “Dan,” he wheezed out, “please tell me I can move.”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Dan gasps, and groans when he feels Phil move inside him.

  
They go slowly, patiently. They have all the in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooooo! This is almost certainly the last chapter, and the next will probably be the epilogue. This fic has been a hell of a ride folks, and I think I'm happy with it. Feel free to leave any thoughts or feeling in the comments! I'm hoping to start writing another multi-chaptered fic soon, and will happily look at any suggestions. Sorry this took so long to get out, but I had a bit of a writers block.
> 
> (points to you if you caught the really vague reference to Your Guardian Angel)


	10. Epilougeish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slams fists down on the table* I DID IT. I FINISHED A MULTI CHAPTER FANFICTION. HELLS YEAH.

 After Dan and Phil’s first moment of intimacy, they slept, as they had just had sex and the past few days had been really rough of the both of them. When they woke up, they cuddled and had the intense relationship talk, in which they became boyfriends and, after a month or two, spouses (Dan proposed, and Phil was sad because he had been planning to do it literally the next day).

Phil called Jenny, and they talked. Jenny became a close and dear friend to Dan and Phil, and would be included in the video announcing they were boyfriends, they both decided. After all, none of it would’ve happened if it wasn’t for her.  She would start up her own YouTube channel soon, and become big enough to leave the bar if she so wished, but instead she stayed, and her claim to fame was that she was the one who helped Dan and Phil sort out their feelings. Over time, her bar would serve primarily towards fans of tv shows and would have specials deals every time the new episode of a big tv show aired.

But, of course, how did Dan and Phil announced they were boyfriends to the world?

**DANISNOTONFIRE’S VIDEO**

**DATE: 8/15/15**

**VIDEO NUMBER: ?**

**TITLED: A VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**

_*two young men appear on screen. they both appear ecstatic and excited, and the one with blue eyes is wearing a party hat.*_

“Hey guys! Phil here, and we have a veryyyyy special announcement!”

_*the man proceeds to pull out a party horn and blow it enthusiastically, while the other man rolls his eyes and reluctantly dons a party hat as well*_

“Something amazing has happened, and we thought we should all share it with you.”

_*the one without the party horn looks in a bag, and frowns.*_

“Phil, where are is it? It's not here.”

_*the shorten one squeaks and leaps up from his chair and disappears off to the side. the man left stares at the camera for a few seconds.*_

“We’re not going to edit this out, are we?”

_*he sighs.*_

“Here it is! I’ve got them!”

_*the man’s voice comes from off screen, and as he returns to his chair the items are blocked from view. he hands one to the other man.*_

“Okay, on the count of three Dan! One. Two. Three!”

_*together, they throw what's in their hands up in the air, and colorful confetti rains down around them.*_

“It’s going to be a mess to clean this up.”

_*the taller one follows his statement with a sigh.*_

“Anyways…”

_*the blue eyed one claps his hand together._ _he turns to face the other man, who turns towards him and kisses him for roughly five seconds. they turn back to face the camera, smiles plastered over both their faces.*_

“We’re dating, and this is officially our coming out video!”

_*the shorter one then blows his party horn too hard, bursting the paper._ _the taller one snickers.*_

“Well, everyone knew we were bi, so technically isn’t a coming out video, but yeah.”

_*he grins and looks endearingly at the other man, who is staring sadly at his broken party horn.*_

“So, you’re probably wondering how this happened. Well, one night, Phil decided to go and get drunk, for some reason.”

_*the other man waves the hand with broken party horn in the air to interrupt.*_

“It was because I had just read a rather excellent fanfiction of where I’m a vampire and Dan’s a human and we get it on.”

_*the tall one’s eyes widen, before he shakes his head.*_

“Jesus Phil, I really didn’t know how much of a fan you were.”

_*he snickers again, and rests a hand on the other man’s shoulder.*_

“Anyways, he comes back drunk and asks me to marry him. He even wrote me a love poem- hang on a second, I’ve got it here somewhere…”

_*the blue eyed one squeaks and a blush rises to his cheeks while the other man rustles through a bag before triumphantly pulling out a piece of paper. he begins to read.*_

“ _I love you more than there is every star in the sky_

_I love you more than the earth loves the sun_

_I love you more than a dog loves a squeaky toy_

_I love you more than the earth itself_

_But most of all, I love you more than I love myself.”_

_*with each line the man says, the other man’s blush gets darker and darker, and by the end he was covering his face with his hands.*_

“I was really drunk, okay!”

_*the other man pats his leg soothingly.*_

“Don’t worry. It’s really very sweet. So, I then get Phil to bed, but right before he falls asleep he kisses me, straight on the lips. Although perhaps 'straight' isn't the right word to use. But then when he wakes up, he panics, and runs to-”

_*a young blonde women bursts into frame, startling both men. she sits on the floor.*_

“Hi! I’m Jenny. I’m a bartender, more specifically the owner of the bar that Phil went to to get drunk. And it’s been decided that I shall take over the story for now.”

_*she shoos the men out of the room, and they lays across the chairs they were sitting on.*_

“Oooh, nice. Anyways, Phil shows up, I recognize him and it takes all I can not to get his autograph. Anyways, I give him some advice, tell him to drop a couple hints, and then later in the night he calls me and asks if he can come over. Now, I’m not that type of girl- although, if I was, would it really matter?”

_*she frowns at the camera for a second, before returning to her cheery smile.*_

“But this is Phil Lester, and strangely enough, I would trust him with my life even though I’ve only know him personally for a day or two. Anyways, Phil comes over, we come up with a plan, and he goes to Dan with a romantic cake. Later, Phil comes back with no cake and eyes sadder than my own. So I decide to go over to this lovely place and see what’s up.”

_*she sighs, and sits up.*_

“Dan wasn’t doing too hot, so I tried to cheer him up. Think I did a okay job, but I’m not sure. So then Dan talks about his feelings, and then BOOM, Phil comes in, and I get up and leave, because I was sure some stuff was about to go down.”

_*she shrugs, and gives a cheeky smile.*_

“I’ll leave what happened next to your imagination.”

_*she gets up and walks off screen, and the two previous men come back on screen.*_

“Now, if you want to know more, click on this link….” _*the tall one waves his hand in a square shape, where a link to another video will appear.*_

“We’ll see you there!” _*the other one winks, and the video ends*._

Phil grinned as the video ended, and looked at Dan with an eyebrow raised. “Are you going to post it?”

Dan hummed, and scratched his nonexistent beard. “I should, but don’t you think it would be mean to post this when we haven’t filmed the next video yet?”

Phil nodded in a serious way. “Yes, it would be.” He reached out a hand and tapped Dan’s mousepad. “Oops.” He said with a giggle, leaning on Dan’s shoulder. “Oh well, it’s too late now.” Dan chuckled and rested his head on Phil’s before setting his laptop down on the floor and maneuvering them so they were now cuddling on the couch.

“Hey Dan?” Phil murmured, blinking his _amazingly_ blue eyes up at Dan.

“Yes Phil?”

“Marry me?” Phil asked, and Dan lightly swatted the top of his head, which was resting on Dan’s chest.

“You already asked me that when you were drunk, and when I asked you, you said yes. Of course, you spork.” Dan tutted affectionately. “Also, you’re not drinking at our wedding.”

“Or maybe I should.” Phil waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Dan laughed.

“Yes, maybe you should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I wrote most of it around Halloween, but never finished it until today. It's been a great ride, folks, but we still have like 3 other road trips to go on at least.


End file.
